Maybe I have taken too many new beginnings with this blog to actually define this as yet again another “new beginning” but here is yet another because over the past fee months I have simply been too scared to put pen to paper, fingers to board and thumbs to scary fragile glass screen.
I won’t go into the matter that brought me to that feeling because its too difficult, painful and personal to detail. But from that event I just couldn’t write anything that involved an iota of creative thinking. However after a few pep talks and words of encouragement I will try and bring you something of worth.
First off an admission. I love Modern Family. The TV program currently winning countless viewing figures for the rumour that one of the may or may not be dating Charleze Theron. This seems to have “shocked” people because he a) plays a gay man on the show and b) because he is more portly than muscly. I’m not here to go on about the medias’ expectations of the human body. It’s not why I watch the show. I watch it because it is funny. Surprisingly funny at first because I thought nothing from America could be funny after Monica and Chandler moved out of Greenwich Village and Carrie trotted off (in another pair of unattainable shoes) with Mr Big. I even ribbed my sister for watching it, giving it the cynical view that all the scenarios were too ridiculous and mad-cap to actually be laughed at. But then curiosity got the better of me and whilst no one was in I sat down to watch. Fully expecting it to be the most stupid show I had ever seen. And it was . But in a good way. Because for all the ridiculous situations that this family get themselves into and for all the bizarre characters, the actors are more than just the a-typical beautiful Americans that have frequented the screens of other sitcoms. They actually seem to like one another for a start. And secondly the writers seem to respect their audience. Something that with the rise of tv programmes such as ‘Top Dog Model’ and the multiple ‘lets poke fun at everyone outside of London’ pantomimes seem to have forgotten.*
But why do I write about this show?
I’m writing about it because in the last episode amongst all of the hi-jinks and farce he story revolved around one if the children starting at university. For all the soppiness at the end it made me think of when I was starting uni. What my expectations were and how were I am now fits in with those. Don’t take this in the wrong way I am not writing this nostalgically because I finished my postgraduate degree a year ago and only started uni in 2007. Moreover my working life hasn’t really begun yet because I have only really just started full time big-girl work and can look forward to carrying on so till (by the looks of things) until I am at least 102. Even if I do pass over the veil I’m sure some sci-fi, post-post apocalyptic movie loving “genius” will find a way of making sure I am crippled by all of the things we are crippled by in modern society long after I am gone.
Anyway, back to reality.
It got me thinking about work and the big ‘what do I want to do with my life’ question. So many people I know, not just my age are in a horrid predicament of not having work and being unable to find it. One of my closest (ironic as she lives in Italy) friends is having to move to Bruges for work! But it set me thinking. At the moment I am on a cliff edge because I know that I will not do what I am doing forever. Moreover, despite feeling that those I work with may view me as a catastrophic moron, I quite like them and the office is a jolly place to work. It’s a cliff edge because I know that many others have and will get drawn in to this. I realise I must not, but how can I defend myself? My answer came from many after I tweeted something the other night about feeling that although working full pelt, there is a feeling that you are not getting anywhere. Despite the response this 140 letter sentence was not wholly about myself. In truth I was fed up of hearing bad news about those i love and wanted the tweet to be a wish for them. But as countless law suits have detailed twitter isn’t really one for great detail. However the amazing words of wisdom I got made me think of my barmy friend/extra Nanna Elaine who always says “what’s meant for you won’t pass you by” so I decided I take the words on board and have a ponder.
What I took from the feedback was that on the whole it called for me to look at things from a different perspective. Which I found hard because all I could see was bleak, bleak, bleak. However staring out into the dense grey mist and fog that is currently making Essex and London look like a Hitchcock thriller something has come to me.
I have always placed the elusive word ‘career’ alongside words such as ‘lawyer’,’nurse’, ‘teacher’ and all thought these roles are creative to a certain degree and should certainly not be sniffed at. I realised that the jobs which I wish to attain I had never placed that word to before because I didn’t believe I could do it. I still completely don’t but what is key is that I have started to think that these words could go together as tastily as chocolate and cherries.
Which brings me back to Modern Family because in the last episode ‘Phil’ the father of the new college goer wrote a philosophy or rather “Phil-osophy” book for his daughter so that she could have his words of wisdom everyday. Smushy yes… But it was for comic purposes so I was definitely reading to deeply into it when I found a semblance of some philosophic worth through my chortling
when he said.
“When life gives you lemonade…make lemons. Life will be all like WHAAAT?”